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Thursday, April 18, 2019

Kaboom! Florida's Fireworks Loophole

Thanks to Jill Wellington from Pixabay for the fireworks image.
It's a bird. It's a plane. No, it's fireworks, to scare fishies and feathered things. For agricultural purposes.  

Thanks, Tristan Bowerbox and Pixabay, for the free use of this image.

Uh huh. Yeah, that sounds kinda fishy to me, too.

Thanks Pixabay, for the free use of this image.

As my countdown to move approaches, I finally stopped off in a fireworks store, as it was across the street from the shipper I plan to use to get my stuff cross-country (more on that in a future post). 
Phantom Fireworks, one of several year-round brick-and-mortar fireworks stores in the Melbourne Florida area.
Nope, I didn't stop off to buy fireworks. I stopped off to satisfy my curiosity.  There's a couple of these place in town. They are open year-round. As opposed to every place else I've lived where there is a very brief blitz of temporary firework stands a week or two up to the 4th of July, then they're gone.  Or - sometimes - they don't appear at all, due to fire concerns.

Here, though, they're a proud, stars-and-stripes, brick-and-mortar institution.
Fireworks BOGO in Florida; 365 days a year.
So I popped inside and asked what gives. I was told about "Brevard County's agricultural exception" allowing fireworks. Apparently, that loophole does stretch beyond Brevard.

One of several jam-packed shelf aisles of fireworks at Phantom Fireworks, Melbourne Florida.
I googled Florida fireworks, and came across this cautionary article, noting that when you buy anything other than sparklers and sign the store's waiver, you're still really breaking the law in most cases. It's just that the stores make sure by your signing the waiver that they don't get sued (watch for another post about lawyers in Florida).
This fireworks release isn't really for your safety,
but so Phantom Fireworks doesn't get sued.

All this reminds me of my favorite Eddie Murphy scene from the 1992 movie, "The Distinguished Gentleman." Yes, the scene is about guns (another Florida mainstream item, which I may also blog about), but it's also about dead birds, kind of.

Though I do admit, I am half tempted to buy some fireworks and set them off as a goodbye celebration my last night here before moving. I just have to decide whether the expense and risk is worth the final hurrah. Just one final appropriate kaboom to the Space Coast, an area that uses 3-2-1 area code because it's the countdown for rocket launching does seem appropriate. Whaddaya think?
Not sure how I feel about making fireworks legal throughout the USA.
Nor do I get why I'd want to win "Grounds for Divorce" or what it has to do with it.
Let me know if you enjoy these little slices of Florida Space Coast culture as I a have a few more up my sleeve before leaving.

Location Location
Space Coast Florida, until May 12th, 2019.

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